Rape Jokes Are Not Funny

This post was originally posted to my LiveJournal yesterday at 6:11 pm.  It is being cross-posted here for non-LiveJournal readers.

I've been mulling for hours about a topic I find myself commenting on repeatedly, but rarely - if ever - making a direct post about myself. As I thought about it, I realized part of what's held me back from posting in the past was the risk of sounding over-sensitive and being lumped with utopian thinkers who would remove essential freedom of speech in order to make everything "safe" and "happy."

Since I've become more active with anti-bullying campaigns and human rights causes, however, I've come to understand the need to let go of those fears and speak when something is wrong. Something is wrong, has been wrong, and it's now been brought to my attention three times today from separate, unrelated sources. That's urging enough for me to make my own post. Just so I'm clear, I'll boldface my stance from the start:

Rape jokes are not funny. They're not funny "if" some qualifier is added. They're not funny "if" it's a woman telling it. They're not funny "if" the person telling it "only meant it as a joke" or "if" the person telling it "knows a rape victim." Rape jokes are not funny, ever.

The first time this was brought to my attention today was through the tf_afts community post, Robots have nosebleeds apparently. The last comic posted in the samples is a "classic" rape joke, and there are plenty just like it scattered throughout various fandoms. Yaoi/slash fandoms seem to be particularly striken by it - probably because rape of men is rarely discussed and even more rarely taken seriously. It's not any more funny in reference to men than it is in reference to women.

The second time it was brought to my attention was during a phone conversation with my mom today, while I tried to explain to her why some forms of sex/gender/sexuality discrimination are not okay, even if the person is "just kidding around" or "isn't hurting anything." When behaviors are normalized through "joking," it makes it exceptionally difficult to remove them from a society. Worse, the normalized behaviors become institutionalized discrimination, which leads to hate crimes going unprosecuted. This includes violent acts of rape to cure lesbianism, which are sometimes supported by people even in the United States. I bet that joke about raping "that hot piece of ass" is pretty funny after seeing the photo on that last page, isn't it? (Sarcasm there, for those who missed it.)

I was still kind of stewing about that second instance when an e-mail from Change.org landed in my inbox. The e-mail was a call for signing a petition (many of the e-mails from them are), but I was particularly disturbed by this one:

Dear Betty Anne,

A vendor on the online marketplace Etsy is selling a greeting card designed to be given to somebody who has been raped. It shows a drawing of a naked girl huddled in the shower and reads: “Congratulations: You got bad touched!”

The same vendor also sells cards mocking the parents of children with Down Syndrome.

So far, Etsy has refused to take the cards down. An outcry of customers and potential customers can change that.

Tell Etsy to stop selling these offensive cards.

Etsy's "Terms of Use" list prohibited items, which include products that are obscene or designed to harass others. The agreement also says “Etsy reserves the right to refuse service to anyone, for any reason, at any time.”

Action is clearly possible -- we just need to up the pressure.

More than 1,000 Change.org members have already asked Etsy to stop mocking rape victims and persons with disabilities by removing these cards from its site. Click here to add your voice:

http://www.change.org/petitions/view/tell_etsy_to_remove_rape_congratulations_cards_from_website?alert_id=dfRYwwoKCP_OrPCFCEXxr&me=aa

Thanks for taking action,

The Change.org team

I decided to look further into it (as I usually do before signing any petition) and the cards in question do, in fact, exist - for the bargain price of $2.50, no less. The description gives that "playing it safe, just a joke" spin, but the tags on the card's listing tell you exactly what it's intended for. Worse yet, thanks to the tags "rape" and "raped," there's a good chance someone looking for recovery or anti-rape related items will also find this listing. Somehow, I think this is the last thing a rape survivor or someone close to them needs to see.

Rape jokes only happen because they are propped up as "acceptable" by our culture. Our culture only keeps propping them up as "acceptable" because we allow it - too few of us who find them unfunny are willing to speak up and say so, and silence is implied consent for behaviors like this. Thus, I am going to reiterate for emphasis, and hopefully to inspire others to take a stand as well: rape jokes are not funny.